Tragically, for those of us not in Park City, Utah we are forced to wait until......uh, well, I have no idea how long we are forced to wait until since the film is at present without an official release date in the U.S. I mean, sure, "Paranormal Activity 5" already has an official release date and, of course, "Grown Ups 2" has an official release date and it just goes without saying that "The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug" has an official release date. But, hey, you know, some of us geek out about Jesse & Celine the way other people geek out about Middle Earth and, for the love of God, why can't anyone throw us a frickin' bone?! HUH?! WHY NOT???!!!
....woah, I think I just blacked out for a second. Anyway, long story short: could someone out there in The Beehive State please pick up "Before Midnight" and distribute it and give us a definitive date for release so we can circle that date on our calendars at once? Thank you in advance!
Until that time, however, we must be content with the four new images of "Before Midnight" that just hit the worldwide interwebs. Which is why today Cinema Romantico will over-analyze each one in an effort to determine the deeper meaning since we will not - repeat: will not - be reading a single word of a single review prior to the film's release.
Hmmmmmmm. It would possibly appear that our dear Jesse and Celine are at a hotel. Would you say that's a hotel? Let's say it's a hotel. Are they checking into the hotel? Are they checking out of the hotel? Are they trying to get a room at the hotel only to learn none are available? Did they agree to meet at this hotel eight years after they met in Paris? Were they both staying at the hotel and just happened to run into each other? But, what if it's not a hotel? What is it then? Is it an art gallery? Have they become art dealers? Or have they just decided to stop at an art gallery during their latest walk-and-talk session? What if it's not an art gallery OR a hotel? Then what the hell is it? Is it a Pier One Imports? Do they have Pier One Imports in Greece? What's going on???!!! Please release this movie!!!
What are they looking at? They are obviously looking at something. Right? They can't not be looking something. It's something amusing, I assume, or otherwise they would not appear so, well, amused. Is it something they were watching on purpose? Or something that just happened to whimsically unfold by some sort of cosmic happenstance? Does it tie into their plight? Or is it but a stray moment of good cheer? WHAT'S GOING ON??? PLEASE RELEASE THIS MOVIE!!!
Woah! Hold the phone! Check out that P.D.A.! Yes, yes, yes. I realize that they had sex in both movies. (Well, it was implied that they had sex in the second movie but......seriously. We all know what happened.) But if you watch the first two films carefully you will realize how cautious is when Jesse is walking side-by-side with Celine. You can tell he WANTS to do something like he is doing in this photo but you can also tell he is not sure if he SHOULD do something like he is doing in this photo. He is so respectful of Celine's space even though he loves Celine so f---ing much he wants nothing more than to invade that space. It appears here that he is invading it. Is this because he is through with the charade? Is this because they both left their respective significant others and ran off to Greece together? Is this because their significant others are IN Greece with them and they have just gone off on the sly? Are they a couple now? O.M.G. What if they are a couple?! (Nick briefly dies and is then resuscitated.) And WHAT is he saying to her?! Is it pithy? Romantic? Sexual? Stupid? An "Airplane!" quote? WHAT'S GOING ON??? PLEASE RELEASE THIS MOVIE!!!
She has a frown. Right? That looks like a frown. Doesn't it? But he's smiling. Right? Why is he smiling when she's frowning? Did he make an asinine crack that has left her unamused? Or are they addressing something of much more emotional heft? Were they addressing something of emotional heft and then he made an asinine crack? I mean, that would, like, totally be a Jesse thing to do. You know? Maybe that's what she's addressing - the fact that he's always making asinine cracks when they try to address something of emotional heft? If it is something emotional, how hefty is it? Why does she have a glass and he doesn't? Did she need a drink and he didn't? Is he on the wagon? Is he holding his glass and we just can't see it? If he is holding a glass that we can't see, were they toasting? If they were toasting, what were they toasting? What TIME is it? It looks later in the day then the other photos, doesn't it? How close is it to midnight? What happens at midnight? WHAT'S GOING ON??? PLEASE RELEASE THIS MOVIE!!!